Truth and Lies

I spent a part of my life lying...I'm not proud of it and I don't want to make excuses for it...but sometimes you do what you have to do to survive and sometimes your words and actions are twisted around so much by another that you get confused and you don't know what is truth and what are lies any more...you lie to protect loved ones...but in the process you destroy any crediblity you might have...so no one believes you when you do finally tell the truth...

A storm is brewing...I thought it was in the past where it belonged but today I felt the first pelts of hail and fear there is more to come...I lashed back in anger...in fear...but in truth...
There are no more lies in my life...only the truth...even if it hurts...even if I lose...
Others can lie about you...try to control you...abuse you...and sometimes you lay there and take it...but there comes a time when you say enough is enough...take a stand and tell them exactly what you think of them...tell them what they did to you...and if it comes down to it...you fight back and let the world know too...
I hate confrontation....do not like to hurt others...but I hate being hurt and lied about even more...I'm not the only one who lied...someone is still lying...trying to control...
I believe in myself....in the truth of what really happened...is happening...don't cross me...you won't like the results...
I am mad...upset...stressed...I've went through so much lately now this...what right do you have to try to control me now....you lost that right long ago...you've told others and me you still love me...always will...you don't know the meaning of love or you would not have said those words in retaliation to mine when I was upset over the death of my dad...you do not belong in my life anymore...do not have rights...live your own life and let me live mine...
Please...