I was looking at Facebook this morning...catching up with friends and family..I ran across a friends page I haven't seen or heard from in some time...Last I'd chatted with her she was so happy...getting married to the love of her life...so she thought...this last week it all came crashing down...she was attacked....hurt and terrorized...by her husband...so sad...and scary...I'm glad she is okay...for now anyway...I hope it works out for her and she heals and finds love again someday...a true love...a good man next time...
It makes me wonder...How do you know...love can seem so perfect...you laugh together...work and play together...make plans of a future together...you are positive you've found the right one this time...the one you will spend the rest of your life with...grow old with...love until the day you die...and in a moment it all falls apart...one minute you are a loving couple...the next its over...what devastation...the unanswered questions...
I'll always ask Why....wonder what happened...why it went wrong...but will most likely never know...so I choose to change my Why to Why Not....
Why not choose to live my life to its fullest...make my own way...be my own person...I will always love others...but I need to find my own peace...my own happiness that isn't dependant on others...I hope my friend finds peace and discovers love...happiness again...someone who makes her life now seem like just a bad dream...and I hope I do too...
Another thing happened today and for the life of me I don't understand it...magic? or just technology I can't fathom....last summer I bought myself a new ITouch...my old one didn't have any sound system except through earplugs...my ears are small and earplugs just don't work...I wanted to listen to music...I miss music in my life and want more of it...this morning I was playing around with it...and I discovered a recorded conversation between me and an old love...how in the world did it get on my ITouch? I didn't have this machine while we were together....and my old one didn't have this app...wasn't capable of utilizing it...I listened to a voice I hadn't heard in 2 years...a voice I loved to listen to...it was a conversation we had had right after he had bought his ITouch...and we were driving home...yes, home...his place...his town...but it felt so much like home to me...anyway we were having a good time...laughing and discovering what his new toy would do...we were a happy couple...so full of dreams then...thought we would be together for a lifetime...but it didn't last...my love did...but his faded away never to return...I'll always wonder why...always care...it was a wonderful trip down memory lane...so many happy memories from that time...sad ones too...but for now I am really wondering how and why I ended up with this conversation...I know it has something to do with modern technology...but I also believe in magic...in things happening for a reason...maybe to show me that like my friend...love ended without warning...but life still goes on...or maybe it meant something else...what?
A voice from the past...a ghost of a lost love...can't get that voice out of my head...
A sign? or just a fluke???
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