I wrote a really awful post last night...thankfully I got it deleted tonight before anyone read it...it might have held a lot of truth...and my venting did help me to feel better for a while...but I learned something important today...several days ago I wrote an email apologizing to someone for hateful words I had said about them and to them...this had happened during the time of my dad's death and to say I was upset is an understatement...anyway I did not like to leave it that way...I felt bad about it and even though what I had said was the truth...I wrote again and said I was sorry...said that things come out when you are upset that shouldn't be said...well, today I received a response from my apology...a hateful email bringing up the past and how horrible I had been to others...it had absolutely nothing to do with what I had apologized for...it was written strictly to hurt me back...after I had said I was sorry...it did as it was intended to...it hurt...I cried...but it also showed me how no matter how sorry you are...you can't take words back...and it showed me how much words...even when written as truth can hurt and destroy...I don't ever want to make another feel the way I felt tonight...no matter what they may have done to me...real or perceived...
I will not write back to said person that hurt me tonight...I will not respond to the email...I let it drop...but I am thankful that it made me realize what great harm my blog post of last night could have done to another...to someone I love and will always love...no matter how much I have been hurt...I still love...always will and I will try not to hurt anyone ever again...
To each and every person that may read this blog...either past or future...please feel free to read...I have put myself out here in the web world...it is a place where others are free to read what I write...no laws against it...if I don't want someone to read it...then I shouldn't be writing it...so come by and stay awhile...read my tales...read about my life...and know that some of you that read these lines are very dear to my heart...now and forever...I write so that you especially can read and know what is going on in my life...sometimes what I write is in the form of Fairy tales...some of you may recognize yourselves in them...I do that on purpose...for reasons only you and I know...
I have my times of wanting to be different...wanting not to care and love as I do...but in the end...I can only be me...
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