Drowning

The princess lived her life with the Wizard....day by day...not knowing what she had lost...not feeling anything but what the Wizard wished her to...he took full control of her...of her life...control of everything...

The princess worked hard every day...while the Wizard played...he would gamble....live the high life...sleep when he wanted to and carouse at night....he also had a cruel streak...he enjoyed all manner of dark and horrible things...things beyond imagining...and though the princess sometimes had to endure these pastimes....she did not share his passions...the more time went on...the more the princess felt she was drowning...she couldn't breathe...the more she tried to catch her breath the harder it was...she didn't understand the feeling...it was very confusing...

How could she be drowning when she wasn't in water...the very air around her though was so thick and smelled of smoke...it filled her lungs and coated her throat...once the princess asked the Wizard about this and he laughed and told her she was crazy...
The air is clean and pure my dear...your thoughts are running away because you have time on your hands...let's find something to occupy that silly mind of yours...and he gave her more work to do...
She worked day and night sometimes...never quite getting the work done to the Wizards satisfaction and she would have to start anew...how hard she tried to please him...but he started to look to others for entertainment while she worked....the princess knew this and even confronted the Wizard about it several times...but again he would laugh and tell her that it was all in fun...it meant nothing...it was just something to help him while away the time while she was working...he would much rather have her company but he understood they needed her to work....he wished he could help...but as she knew his health wouldn't let him...
The princess wasn't satisfied with his answers...but saw no escape...she would be so alone without him...and probably destitute too...

Deep in her mind she kept feeling this fleeting feeling...like she was missing something...something important...what had her life been like before the Wizard...she thought and thought but could not remember a time before him...but there must have been...surely they hadn't been together forever...but as hard as she tried...the princess could not even remember anyone but the Wizard...she must have had friends at one time...he had his ladies...he bragged about them at times...told stories of his past adventures...but hard as the princess tried...she didn't have any memories that didn't include the Wizard...
Surely there was someone somewhere who knew her...remembered her...maybe even missed her...maybe they were looking for her even now...maybe she had amnesia...that was it..she just had to keep trying to remember...it would all come back and she wouldn't feel so alone...so lost...

and maybe just maybe the princess thought...might it be possible that there is someone out there who misses me....wants me...loves me...the Wizard says he loves me...but his actions say no...one who loved me would want to touch me...kiss me...hugs and cuddling...not only show me but tell me daily and not be looking and chatting with other women...I don't know how I know this the princess thought...but I do...
 The princess stopped her work and sat down and cried....she cried a river of tears...and no one saw or heard her...or even cared...