Magic

So many topics come up when I think of Magic...the kind in Fairy tales...birth...life..the magic of falling in love....the touch of a loved one...
I remember how much I didn't care for touching....hugs...for years I just wanted my space....then I found the magic in it...how wonderful a loved ones skin could feel...my hands felt like they had magic in them sometimes...a loved one in pain...couldn't sleep...and I would rub...massage...until they relaxed and fell asleep...some nights I would be awake almost all night doing this...to ease the pain...a loving touch can work miracles...to be held in a loved ones arms...it felt so safe...warm...magic...whether it be while watching a movie...listening to music...or falling asleep....
The magic of a simple kiss...from the excitement of that first kiss...to the lingering...make out kisses...the quick ones or the slow ones...all magic....
I've had that kind of magic in my life..the touch...the kisses...had it all...I miss it...how do I get it back? is it even possible or was it to be only once in my life...

I want it all...the magic of love...but I lost it and can't find that kind again...is it me? or was it the kind of magic..the kind of love that can happen only between two specific people and I'll never find it again with another...only him?
So many questions left unanswered...only time will tell for me and if you know me...I'm not the patient kind...
Guess I'll keep Believing in magic..in Dreams coming true...in the magic of a letter...an email...a phone call...
I'll keep chasing those windmills for now...believing...
After all...it's the season for magic and dreams coming true...
I'll see what is different...or the same...next year...