Do you realize the time we were together as a couple...just over a year...we were together every weekend...spent the whole summer together...didn't miss a single moment we could have together...and it was me 99 % of the time coming to you...making a long distance relationship work...I thought it was working anyway...but I guess not or it wouldn't have fallen apart so quickly...
Do you know how much I spent in gas coming to be with you all those weekends!...my truck MPG was 10...figure it out...but I was willing...just to be with you...could hardly wait until Friday afternoon and I could head home...to you...I told everyone I lived there...I only worked here...lived there with you...
How I looked forward to summer and being with you almost full time...I rushed home once a week to water and do a few things around the house...see my parents and then rush back to you...my place suffered...my trees have never quite recovered...but back then I didn't care...I was trying to make a new home...I cut your weeds...bought flowers and ornaments for the yard and they weren't cheap...fixed it all up for you...even caulked all the windows in the house for you to keep you warmer in winter...I worried so much that you didn't have heat except for that little propane heater...I cleaned house...washed clothes...shopped for you most times...so many times I would come there on Friday and the house was a mess...I know you worked all week...so did I...but I cleaned house for you......sometimes we did it together...sometimes I sat and watched you do it...like a couple we shared...I know you were still healing...got tired easily...took a lot of naps...left me on my own defenses while you slept...it was really boring there while you slept and sometimes I was irritated and felt Like I should have stayed home...but I loved you and just wanted to be close...when I came home on Sundays...I usually went to Walmart and walked around...to delay going home...alone...
My life was there...with you...not here..I was there so much...most of the time when you weren't at work...I was making our long distance relationship work...it was hard...but I was doing it...I thought you were too...but I guess you had other plans...wanted someone close...wanted a woman that lived there full time..and since I couldn't get a job there...even though I tried hard...you threw me away and picked another...
She didn't work out for you like you hoped, so you ditched her and tried again...guess you decided this was your last chance...running out of women living there that met your "criteria" so you up and married this one...
So now you have your perfect life...without me in it...guess I never did belong in your life...you used me for what I could give you until you found something better...I gave and gave to you...did all I could to make it work...in the end it didn't matter...my love didn't matter...I loved you more than you've ever been loved before...you told me once I had no idea how much you loved me...guess I didn't because it was I who loved...not you...you couldn't have loved me...not as much as I loved you...mine lasted longer...went deeper...and hurt so much more in the end...my things meant more to you than I did...couldn't bear to give them back...so you kept them...refused to give them back...but that's the next chapter...
No comments:
Post a Comment