Do you Know?

That freedom from a broken heart comes with a price...I thought mine would come with a steep price tag....the price of making you hate me...telling you off finally...giving you the "Bad Goodbye" you didn't want...but in the end...I have your hate...but I'm still not free....it felt good at first to tell you off...tell you how much you hurt me...but in the end...I really hate hurting anyone...most of all you...why do I still care...you don't...and you're married to another...I've lost you forever and it makes me cry...
But I will never regret the time we spent together...never regret loving you...it doesn't matter you never loved me...doesn't matter it was one sided...I felt love for you and it can't be taken away...I have no freedom...
I'm sorry I let it all out and if you read any of this I know you will hate me forever...but it's there and its too late to take anything back...all I wrote was how I've felt at times...tried so many times to make myself hate you...convince myself you are a jerk...a jackass...and even if you are...even if you did all the things I've accused you of...it didn't work...I don't hate you like you do me...

Even though you married another...made me feel like I wasn't worthy of your love..destroyed my trust...destroyed me....a part of me will always love you...always wish I could have found a way to make you love me...but I can't and I don't have the right anymore to hope...to have faith in a someday...it's not coming...
I wish I understood what's wrong with me...why you didn't love me...why I wasn't good enough...even when I was falling off the edge I didn't matter enough to you for you to try and grab me...
I loved you more than anything and you didn't ever give a damn about me...