Lonely

I am so lonely tonight...just need to sit back and chill...breathe and let it go...why do I seem to be alone even when another is in the same room with me...tired, they fall asleep on the couch...or sit staring at the tv or computer...its not that I am unhappy...I just want more...more attention...am I being selfish...have I always been selfish for wanting this? I understand when they are sick....tired...that life has been hard for them and they need the rest...the blocking out of life...but must I be left out too?

I read a post today on Facebook that seems to fit:

One lesson that we must all learn in our lives is that people do the things that they do for a reason. If someone isn't providing you with enough love, it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't love you. Keep in mind when dealing with others that you don't know every single thing that they have been through, even the ones that are closest to you may have secrets ...about their past that they aren't willing to disclose.

Also remember that since people are where they are presently as a result of their pasts that they may not be capable of loving you and showing you how much they care as much as you want to or expect for them to but this doesn't mean that they love you any less. Work hard at being patient, but most importantly follow your heart if you feel as though there is more to it than them not being able to express their feelings in the manner you may desire.

I am tired of being patient...I tried to follow my heart...but it wasn't meant to be...so now what?

Settle for the happiness I have found...settle for not having all I want in life?

I was asked this morning to change my name...for $$ reasons it wouldn't be a name change that involved marriage...but a connection...one of sharing the same name...I do care...but it would be a commitment I am not sure I am ready to make...Why? when I wanted that very thing with another...wanted it all...but if I was to do it now...it would be like saying I give up...stop believing...know that this life I have now is the life I will have...nothing more...nothing less...

So what do I do? What choice do I make....is it time to make a commitment have some ties that bind...