Fear

When you come home only to discover you've walked into the middle of a raging storm..how do you react? what can you do to protect yourself? Is there really a need or is it directed at something else and not you? It's hard to tell when all you see is the anger...hear the yelling, the words spoken and you feel this fear building up in you...anger and frustration unleashed, even if it is not directed at you can be a very frightening thing...it makes you stop and think...worry about how to prevent a future blowup that might be directed at you...will you walk on eggshells...hoping you don't trigger such a storm yourself...
The last few days have been long...very stressful and full of so much...more than I can write in a single posting...I don't know what direction my life will go in the near future...I have a lot of thinking to do..try to decide what path to take...

A new beginning? or just more of the same?
This last weekend was full of memories...lost love...just wanting to be important to someone...more important than stuff...pride...just to be loved and shown that I am loved...that is all I really want...
When you are constantly let down...felt you aren't important...other things put before you and your needs...thrown away without an explanation...made to feel unwanted...unloved...your ego suffers a severe blow and you wonder if you will ever feel secure...loved...
I keep trying...keep giving...but I still can't get it right...Is it me or them? I wish I knew... Right now I only know that I feel lost and alone...